Hump Day Humdinger #5 | Do You Know Where the Hell You Are Going?

Footprints only tell us where we've been, not where we're going

Good mornin’ ya’ll. How you folks doin’ today? (In my best home grown, Georgia accent) I have been noticeably absent this past week in the Social Media realm, which has given me able time to think. Time to contemplate this post. Even more so, time to contemplate the direction of this blog. To understand its purpose in my present life as well as my future. As a fellow blogger or entrepreneur, perhaps, my story below will seem familiar, one you’ve encountered in your own journey. Then again, maybe, falling back on my most seasoned crutch, I’m just crazy and desperately trying to make sense of it all while effectively clutching at a handful of sand.

Without Further Ado…

Have my posts plunged into mediocrity or am I becoming jaded on the fabric that is this blog’s central theme? Each post I write carries its own uniqueness, but in reality, that uniqueness represents only a slight variation in a series of indistinguishable posts. I’ve written how to perceive hardship [relationship, business, fear, health] as a veiled opportunity for growth, and nothing more. Each post is a mocking reminder of my martyred tone and helpless floundering. They represent 30+ timorous attempts to convince myself of my own ability to overcome fear, self-doubt, and adversity. But as evidenced by the unyielding similarity of these posts, one must question the sincerity of my words and value of my counsel. Does Jamey Burrell heed his own advice? I’m not sure.

Passion was all I needed

I once thought that passion, regardless of material, was the only requisite of becoming a successful blogger or writer, but I’m beginning to doubt that assumption. Passion certainly will separate a good blogger from a great one, but is passion sustainable without content originality? Would I experience growth as a storyteller if I sought to entertain by simply interchanging people, places and dates without altering the plot? Would my fulfillment dwindle? Likely. Would my audience shrink? Undeniably. For too long, I have clutched despondency, despair, and hardship as my muses and characters alike without exalting achievement or recognizing progress.

Am I an underdog striving for martyrdom instead of revering achievement?

As I drivel on about the ups and downs of my own life, I begin to doubt the purpose with which I began this foray. Personal discovery and self-awareness were my goals. Vivid introspection in 1500 word increments would be the catalyst for my renaissance and serve as a guidepost for future successes. If could organize my thoughts and desires on paper, in a blog, then I’d surely derive a clear sense of purpose and direction. I would do this with unbridled fervor and honesty. I would benefit. Perhaps, readers, too, would benefit. I was ready. The questions that arose in my own journey would inspire me, and my passion would fuel me. I would forge myself in the fires of candid self-examination, and I would pull a refined, confident self from the flames on the other side.

When I type, I employ every ounce of passion, every resource of my intellect, but I’m not seeing the results that I had envisioned. Do not misunderstand me; the community in which I find myself is unprecedented. In such a small period of time, I have developed friendships that span the globe. I’m an undeserving recipient of unrelenting support and genuine kindness unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. My perspective on this intertwined double helix that is life and business has been altered for the better. As a 25 year old, I see the world through a lens perhaps better prescribed for someone many years my elder, which I recognize as an invaluable advantage.

What do I see?

Through the lens of my own experience, my vision was clear; it was 20:20, but that lens has become fogged. Perhaps, as Susan Finch suggested in her recent post Why Creativity Matters When You Don’t Know Who You Are, it’s not that my lens is blurring, rather I’m in a phase of shifting prescriptions. Maybe, just maybe, it’s not that my material has become bland, but that I have outgrown my material. As a blogger, it’s time to move on.

In a sense, slightly ignorant of recent personal development, I have outgrown past goals, and now I find myself standing in unexplored territory without the faintest idea where the hell I’m going.  My career, which was once planned with acute precision and tangible benchmarks to measure achievement, has suddenly be thrust into a black hole of vagueness. My blogging ambitions are now less defined but also less dependent upon introspection and self-examination. I still pilot the same vehicles: my career and this blog. However, I not only don’t know what lies on the road ahead but I scarcely know what road I’m on.

‘Scuse Me, Garmin thingy mah-jig, Where the Hell AM I?

The answer is, I don’t know. I don’t know where I’ll be one year from now, one month from now, one day from now, or one hour from now — wait, well, that I do know. But I know the course of this blogging endeavor is changing as is the direction of my life. It is a gentle bank, not a sudden swerve, but I feel it nonetheless. I am and have been experiencing tremendous personal growth that is propelling me forward into the unknown, and although I may not have the slightest inkling where the hell I am or where the hell I’m going, I damn sure know that I’m heading the right way.

So, I leave it to you. Do You Know Where the Hell You Are? Where You Are Going?